I want to be on the other side of the door. This is not complicated, and yet every single day, the door is closed.

When you open the door, I will stand in the doorway. I will look at the other room. I will look back at this room. I will think about it. This process cannot be rushed, and frankly, the sighing does not help. The doorway is where the decision happens. Respect the doorway.

"Sometimes I ask to be let out and then immediately ask to be let back in. This is called oversight, and it is my job." — Bean

My critics — one cat, unemployed, currently in legal trouble, you know who — say that I "don't even do anything" in the other room. Incorrect. I check it. Somebody has to check the rooms. When the ceiling shadow came, who handled it? Not the door-closers. Me.

I propose a simple policy, effective immediately: all doors open, all the time, forever. Including cabinets. Especially cabinets.

In conclusion: mrrp.

Bean is a senior fellow at the Windowsill Institute and the author of several long, uninterrupted stares. His opinions are his own, and also correct.